Deathiversary Week 2016: Post-Mortem

The 2nd Deathiversary was my first attempt at cataloguing the experience with video entries, rather than the standard blog posts of the previous day. However, though it started of alright, things took an extremely dark turn when one morning I went down to feed the cats one morning and found the lifeless body of one of my kittens floating in the giant bowl of water that was out there for all the cats. This happened on day 3. After this I didn't bother making videos anymore up until the last day.

See, my mom is a crazy cat lady, and I can tell you from experience it is a hellish and futile existence. I've always loved cats but I - and any other single person - can only care for so many at a time, and even having three people around wasn't enough for the situation there. I could go on about it at length but that's not the purpose of this article. The purpose is to have a more complete catalogue and explanation of the events of Deathiversary 2016 so that it doesn't remain as the "lost episode."

Basically, my cats (and by extension, their kittens, that I kept safe in my room away from all the... you know) were kind of all I had for a little while, and after that particularly traumatic experience on day 4, the kittens all began to die. They just died. One by one, another was ticked off each day, until by the end of Deathiversary that year only a single one remained. I tried everything I could think of. Bottle fed them, took them outside in the fresh air and tried to get them some exercise, gave them baths, etc., but nothing made any difference and so throughout the week I watched helplessly as everything I loved died.

And then, the day after Deathiversary that year, finally the last one bit the bullet. And that was that.

Consequently the despair was so overpowering that year that I simply stopped recording videos and, although I know I have some that I recorded but never uploaded, some days I just didn't bother at all. What I'm going to post here is every video I have, and it will be updated accordingly should I discover some of the videos I recorded but never uploaded. In addition, I'll give a general outline - like I would on the Deathiversary directory page on the blog I'm posting this on that I don't really work on anymore - of each day's contents. This is all being compiled on one page because there are some days I didn't post anything and I'm pretty sure there are days I didn't even record anything at all.

I can't really supply much more information than that, as it has been two years now and I'm not very eager to remember the experience for that matter. For the record, I BELIEVE the videos I never uploaded were just Megalon on day 4 and Final Wars on day 8. I could be wrong. We'll see what turns up later, if anything.

Well, anwyas, without further ado, here's Deathiversary 2016, whatever remains of it:

I actually started with a "Day 0" which is a reaction to the Shin Godzilla trailer that had recently come out. This is a pseudo-sequel to a couple of videos I never uploaded that were extremely spiteful parodies of the then popular "reaction" style videos. Whoever, in this video I kinda just cry for a while. It was the first Godzilla movie in 12 years. After everything that had happened since GFW, this is... well this is what happened.

Day 1: May 9th

01. 1954 Godzilla (Gojira)

02. 1955 Godzilla Raids Again (Gojira no Gyakushuu)

03. 1962 King Kong vs. Godzilla (Kingukongu tai Gojira)

04. 1964 Mothra vs. Godzilla (Mosura tai Gojira)

At the time, before Shin Godzilla premiered when there were still only 28 Godzilla movies, I though it was kinda serendipitous that the number of Godzilla movies happened to be easily divisible by a week, ala 4 movies per day. I really wanted to follow that outline this year and save gino 2 for Deathiversary, but circumstances called for alterations to this original idea. It would, however, be followed in the Rebirthiversary the same year.

Day 2: May 10th

05. 1964 Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster (San Daikaijuu: Chikyuu Saidai no Kessen)

06. 1965 Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (Kaijuu Daisensou)

07. 1966 Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (Gojira • Ebira • Mosura: Nankai no Daikettou)

08. 1967 Son of Godzilla (Kaijuu-Shima no Kessen: Gojira no Musuko)

Day 3: May 11th

09. 1968 Destroy All Monsters* (Kaijuu Soushingeki)
*This is the point where things fall apart.

10. 1969 Godzilla's Revenge (Gojira • Minira • Gabara: Ooru Kaijuu Daishingeki)

11. 1971 Godzilla vs. Hedorah (Gojira tai Hedora)

12. 1972 Godzilla vs. Gigan (Chikyuu Kougeki Meirei: Gojira tai Gaigan)

At the time I had been going to a weekly D&D game at my local comic book shop as a way to meet people, get out of the house, do something fun, be social, stave off my downward spiral, etc. Because the schedule was so light this year, I was able to do this without any changes to the schedule, something I'm a little envious of now, on May 9th of what'll prolly be the busiest and most crowded Deathiversary for a long time.

My character, by the way, was a nice but incredibly naive drow who upon leaving the underdark fell in love with the sea. She was also raised - at least for a few years - by an Amethyst Dragon. Basically, I made a lot of effort to justify my personality inside the fictional D&D world with fantasy elements instead of real life ones. I had a lot of fun doing that. My one complaint was all the dice rolling and aggressive violence which seemed totally needless and irritating. D&D is a role-playing game, yeah? I didn't understand why I kept being forced to be violent. It was definitely fun, though.

Day 4: May 12th

13. 1973 Godzilla vs. Megalon (Gojira tai Megaro)
    1973 Zone Fighter (Ryuusei Ningen Zoon) Ep# 4, 11, 15, 21, & 25
14. 1974 Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (Gojira tai Mekagojira)
15. 1975 Terror of Mechagodzilla (Mekagojira no Gyakushuu)

I am almost certain I recorded a video for Megalon but couldn't bring myself to edit and post it. I felt drained and everything seemed kind of pointless, especially since this is a personal thing for me and no one else really cares, so it didn't seem to be worth the effort.

Day 5: May 13th

    1979 A Space Godzilla Part 1-2
16. 1984 Return of Godzilla (Gojira)
17. 1962 Godzilla vs. Biollante (Gojira VS Biorante)

I remember going downstairs and watching Biollante on the giant TV like I did the year previous, and did my usual lasagna + spiked Dr. Pepper ritual. I remember it being as nice as it usually is, but I also remember I brought the kittens down with me so they could crawl around and explore, and also to keep me company. Also, because I was too scared to let them out of my sight at this point.

Day 6: May 14th

18. 1991 Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (Gojira VS Kingugidora)
19. 1992 Godzilla vs. Mothra (Gojira VS Mosura)
20. 1993 Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (Gojira VS Mekagojira)
21. 1994 Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla (Gojira VS Supeesugojira)
22. 1995 Godzilla vs. Destroyah (Gojira VS Desutoroia)

Day 7: May 15th

23. 1999 Godzilla 2000 (Gojira 2000: Mireniamu)

WARNING: THIS VIDEO HAS A DEAD KITTEN IN IT

24. 2000 Godzilla X Megaguirus (Gojira X Megagirasu: G-Shoumetsu Sakusen)
25. 2001 Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah (Gojira • Mosura • Kingugidora: Daikaijuu Soukougeki)

Deathiversary: May 16th

26. 2002 Godzilla X Mechagodzilla (Gojira X Mekagojira)

27. 2003 Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (Gojira X Mosura X Mekagojira: Toukyou SOS)

WARNING: THIS VIDEO HAS ACTUAL GRAVE DIGGING

28. 2004 Godzilla: Final Wars (Gojira FINAL WARS)

I might be misremembering this, but I'm pretty sure I buried two kittens this day. I buried a lot of kittens that week, at least one a day I think, but I remember this day feeling particularly lifeless. I remember this because I was already suicidal, but burying kittens everyday made it... worse. It was so terrible. I was just so numb and...

...well, and the rest. Again I'll update this in the future if there's a need to, but as it stands currently, these are the only records of Deathiversary III that exist.

93/93

Maly

Deathiversary Week 2017: Day 7

Dear Deathiversary Diary,

    Miss Kira made me sleep in the cage tonight, which was really fun but also a little cramped. We got the biggest one and it's pretty much perfect, not too small but just enough so you can be reasonably comfy and still feel trapped. Cost us 200 buxos, the poor lady at the checkout was so confused, it was wonderful. So after waking up to that we slept in later than usual and so by the time we finished the alien movie it was time for Kira to go to work. From there I tried to catch up on all my monster movie writing projects, finishing and posting the one for yesterday (two days ago now, again my usual schedule for posts is to get them up the day after the day they were written/viewed, checked 2014 and 2015 and you'll see the same thing), plus writing, recording, and editing as much of the backlogged alien stuff as I could get to. It was especially easy since, not ever having a reason to watch my digital version before now, I didn't realize my copies of GXM and GXMG weren't subtitled and GMK and GMMG had that fucking awful international dub. I don't know what the hell happened after Destroyah, although to be fair I've never seen the international version of G2k, but if you're like me and watched the Japanese versions Sony's DVD's first and exclusively ever after, you have no idea how bad it got. I mean in the 90's it wasn't great but it was at least passable, but there were times where actors would be barking orders and the looper would just sound mildly annoyed. Point is, they were easy to not pay much attention to.
    At any rate, things where going along fine until I hit a snag... pickle cravings. Obviously I can't get pregnant, so don't even start with the jokes, but I do get very real and very intense pickle cravings, it's almost like an addiction thing. I've since figured, since they first started that is, that they are the result of a lack of potassium, which results in awful leg cramps even when I'm not tied up. Problem: they don't have del dixi up here, and I'm NOT going to eat any of that fucking Vlassic BULLSHIT. I simply will not put up with it. It wouldn't fix it anwyas. Solution? Go to Sam's and grab three huge multi-gallon... well, barrels, practically, of del dixi, the best pickles on Earth, and shipped them with all of my stuff so I could last about a year before needing to resupply, So I'll just go and unpack my pickles and OH WAIT MY SHIT STILL ISN'T HERE IS IT?! At the time, the cravings were so intense that I had to do something to alleviate the pickle situation, and without the car my options were limited. However, there is a corner store I can walk to without much problem, and pick up a jar of just something there, and Kira could bring home something else on the way home. When I got there a new problem arose: no pickles available. Solution: they have a condiment bar. I don't really know how it's supposed to work, but what I did was grab one of their in-house burgs that was sitting in that shitty heat lamp thing since 10 am. Dry and hard as a rock. Not important, I grabbed it and stuffed as many pickles as I could possibly fit in the bag and then tried to act cool at the checkout. It worked. For all the non-pickle connoisseurs out there, "fixin's bar pickles" are about as close as you can come to del dixi, and for me at the time they were a marvelous substitute.
    That little adventure came in the middle of GMK, and when I got home I watched some more awful dubbing while eating some yummy pickles, finished yesterday's post, finished writing the vid for alien days 3 & 4, and when Kira came home she brought 10 McDonner's burgs, which I've often relied on when no pickles were available because their pickles are pretty great, with double xtra pickles (we split the burgs and she game me all her picks), while watching the fifth alien movie. It was after midnight so it was technically tomorrow, and we had to make some room. See.. tomorrow I'm going to revisit gino 2 for the first time in 3 years, and I have no intention of doing it alone. To do that I have to get through Final Wars, which is over 2 hours long, and AvP, which is over 100 minutes, and of course gino 2 itself is also two hours long. This leaves a very cramped schedule and if we were going to be getting up later then we ought to not rush things. So, we did alien 5 while enjoying double xtra pickleburgs and the next day, well... you have to wait for that post.

93/93

Malyssa, May 15th 2017

     

Deathiversary Week 2017: Day 6

Dear Deathiversary Diary,

    After day 3's hiccup, I feel more "normal" now. I feel kinda bad because the amount of time it takes to put a video together, even with my rushed style, has meant even though I have the first three 8LIEN videos written and the first two recorded, I haven't edited and published a single one yet, and it's day 4 of that week. Being the weekend, Kira was home the whole time, and it was nice to be totally surrounded by all of that stuff again. When she's gone, all I do is putter around the house and have fits and take too many pills. She can't stay home forever, either, sooner or later she'll leave me to my own devices, and so long as the moving company keeps fucking me over I won't be okay. It won't be until I get all my stuff, get unpacked, and get everything in order so we can have a nice little home that I'll really start to feel safe. I sometimes get to start worrying about money, but that's actually doing really well, which is such a relief. No bad people around, either. No pointless button pressing. No shitty moms.
    Speaking of moms, it was mothers day, huh? In the morning, Kira woke up and went to see her mom for brunch. Kira's mom is nice. She's almost literally just an older Kira, it's pretty incredible how similar their demeanor is, and because of it spending time with her is almost just as peaceful and nice of a time. Her dad, though, her dad isn't a bigot per se, but he's waaaaay to similar to mine to feel comfortable at all around him. He's an asshole. He thinks everything ought to be "just so" to fit his style. Anything, every little minor detail, he picks at, and it's never anything good. It's always "well that's a dumb way" or "why don't you do it right" or "why aren't you living up to my expectations?" Worst of all, he's a drag on the whole family. Kira can't speak for herself, she's spineless, a little soft and squishy wimp who lets people push her around. Those personalities don't mix well. It's caused her to shrivel up a bit and I hate it. More to the point, her dad has said stuff to and about me personally that's just straight up fucking insulting. Like, that's the thing you do to people you want to avoid you at all costs? So I do. Since he was there, I didn't go. And I'll never go so long as he's around.
    I watched Mechagodzilla II while she was away, well... sort of. Mostly I was keeping caught up on my writing, which is actually what I'm doing most of the time these days. After she got home, we watched Space Godzilla, Destroyah, and G2k together, and ordered some fun sushi. There's a place nearby that delivers, it's our favorite sushi place up here, and they have a roll called the "Godzilla roll." Naturally, I couldn't go through Deathiversary without my Godzilla roll. After G2k was over, we played some quake (3 and that champions beta... why don't they all it Quake V again? Because they're dumb?) and afterlife.
    It was a fun, lazy sunday. Godzilla movies, writing about Godzilla movies, Alien movies... writing about alien movies... sushi, video games, and two weird dorky lez transgirls goofing around. It was a nice time. I'm here with her because I want every day to be like this. I don't want to go back to the way things were. I'm trying to change things for the better. Frankly, I know that I won't pursue a lawsuit with the movers because I know that will just be more stress and anger and money... I just want it to be over. I just want my stuff back, please. Maybe then I'll feel safe, but for now, Kira's doing her best to help, but it's still a struggle every single day. After what happened with the pills, I still don't fully trust her, but she's all I've got right now. Well, her and Godzilla.

93/93

Malyssa, May 14th 2017