I've also only just now realized that I only used maybe a 10th of all the screenshots I took for each movie last year, I've got thousands of screenshots from last year, and there's no reason I need to be repeating them. So this means I ended up pointlessly repeating screenshots for 8 movies I've covered in the past two days. Wamp wamp. Anwyas, today I'm watching all 26 episodes of the Godzilla cartoon that ran for two seasons from 1978-1979, which, at 20-something minutes a piece equals a little more than the running time of six feature length films, which is the pace I've been maintaining for the past few days. It is also a pace I'm breaking from here on out, with five features planned for the 13th and 14th. I don't really know how much I should get through on the 15th, as that depends on what all I'll do for the 16th, so it could be anywhere from 3-5, or maybe even all 6 millennium films, but I doubt that.
I'll probably do more hard drinking today as the cartoon wears on, and of course there'll be plenty tomorrow, that's Biollante day. I don't, however, expect that to release a bunch of unbridled rage like it did yesterday, since there's really nothing about this show that could set me off. AND tomorrow I planned a buffer after Biollante, which is what I was talking about when I mentioned there would be 10 movies over the next two days, as there's only 7 movies from the 80's and 90's, and Godzilla 1985 which I'm pretty sure I previously mentioned only brings that up to 8. So what will those other two be? That's a secret. Tee hee. ;o
TV2. 1978 - Godzilla (Season 1)
1 Drink - In case any chemical, geological, meteorological, or psychical, other than physical, sign of G's action is confirmed
2 Drinks - In case any physical sign of G's action such as voice and motion is confirmed
3 Drinks - In case G appears
4 Drinks - In case G's landing on any specific coast of Japan is positive
1 Drink - Godzilla uses breathes fire like some kind of dragon or something
2 Drinks - LAZOR EYES!
1 Drink - When direct casualties of monster attacks are shown
1 Drink - Appearance or arrival onto a mysterious or monster inhabited island
1 Drink - If a fight ends with either the losers running away or the monsters falling off a cliff into the water
1 Drink - When Godzilla wins
1 Drink - Maniacal laughter
1 Drink - When a sentence ends with "...besides!"
1 Drink - Godzooky does a prat fall
1 Drink - Godzooky annoys Godzilla while he's trying to fight another monster
1 Drink - Godzooky's size changes
1 Drink - The Godzilla Signaller is used
2 Drinks - The Godzilla Signaller CAN'T be used for whatever reason, and so Godzooky calls Godzilla instead
2 Drinks - Quinnisms!
#1. The Firebird • ファイヤーバード
No hangovers, but I didn't feel great when I woke up, so no drinks for now. After the first battle with the Firebird she takes off and flies to Antarctica, where it intends to roost. And lay eggs. So that means Firebird hatch from eggs, but we're told that a nest of Firebirds is enough to melt the ice cap... okay... so, wait a minute, how were any of them ever born in the first place? There is one Firebird that we know of, so did this one hatch from an egg to? If it did, then the egg must have been laid in Antarctica, as the Firebird is postulated to be returning to its ancestral spawning grounds, like a salmon or something. But... wouldn't that melt the ice caps? But the... ice caps are still there... and the Firebird... is... ow my brain.Quinnisms:
Pete: That's a ten point landing!
Quin: ...AND a wet one!
#2. The Earth-Eater • アースイーター
When the crew of the Calico first get a look at the tunnels the monster has been digging (and this is before they've seen the Earth Eater, by the way) it looks like the tunnel has been dug via biting or chomping, or at least this is the hypothesis they come up with. Later when we actually see the Earth Eater tunneling, it does so with the sonic blast thing it shoots from its antenna. Huh? Also, once they discover the monster is hiding in tunnels (that they already know it dug), they hatch a plan to "smoke it out," and then are surprised when it digs a new tunnel to escape the gas. This is... I don't... your entire plan was predicated on the subterranean burrowing monster not being able to tunnel away? What?Quinnisms:
"I don't want to hear the word 'mud' again."
"My scientific training tells me... NOTHING!"
Other Quotes:
" Well, thanks to Godzilla's eyes... and those lazor beams of his." - Pete
#3. The Stone Creatures • ストーン • クリーチャーの襲撃
There's a gold disc on top of the Pyramid of Ramal that apparently activates the Guardians. This is interesting. For those who don't know much about Ancient Astronaut stuff, there's this whole thing about the Pyramids. So as they are today they lack points, and there's... I forget if there's evidence for this or it's just a theory, this idea that they used to be topped off with little golden triangles. This would have looked cool, but that's good enough for Ancient Astronauts guys. There's another thing, the points of the Pyramid are in the same formation as the stars in Orion's belt, which is a true thing, so of course there's Ancient Astronauts theories about connections between the two, including stuff like gathering information from the stars or shooting space lazors, all using these gold tips as conduits for all the star energy, or something like that. Idunno, it's a nice touch though.Other Quotes:
"Carry on you two while I chart a new course for shade." - Captain Majors
#4. The Megavolt Monsters • メガボルト • モンスター
As usually happens about twice an episode, our crew get separated into two groups, which puts one or both groups in danger while also allowing them to attack the problem from two angles. This is the usual formula the show takes. However this episode takes a sudden dark turn for no adequately explained reason, when Quin and Brock are attacked by the Megavolts in the bathysphere and lose contact with the Calico. Again, this sort of shit happens every episode, and it just comes with the territory of traveling around the world fighting monsters all the time. However, when Pete suggests sending Godzooky down to look for them, Majors takes the young boy aside and suddenly gets real serious, as he explains to Pete that this might be their last adventure with the two, and it's highly likely that they... didn't make it. And we even get to see the kid start crying, too. Fucking weird.Quinnisms:
"If you'll pardon an unscientific wow... WOW!"
"Bye bye, big buddy. Some people just have no scientific curiosity."
#5. The Seaweed Monster • シーウィード • モンスター
There's a little bit of stock music... I can't be too sure about it, because it's been a long time since I've seen the Herculoids and other HB shows that might have used the same actiony stock music, but I assume that's there too. But what I'm preeeetty sure I heard was some honest to goodness Scooby-Doo stuff. Like the kind of thing that plays when the gang splits up and Shaggy and Scooby are wandering around old Uncle Pietimer's abandoned Pie Factory. You know what I'm talking about. Wouldn't it be cool if they just started playing "8 Days a Week" in the middle of Godzilla fighting a giant Harpy?Quinnisms:
"That's the way, Godzilla, that's the way!"
#6. The Energy Beast • エナジー • ビースト
In this episode, the God of Destruction repairs a dam, and Godzooky doesn't understand mirrors. I mentioned in the last post that all the late 70's ideas, rather than being recycled and refined over time into final drafts, they just sort of disappeared forever. But I realized while watching this cartoon that the first of these idea, 1976's Godzilla Suicide Strategy actually was broken down into its elements and appeared here in the cartoon, although I'm sure it wasn't an intentional recycling. Here the Energy Beast shape-shifts into Godzilla, and it sours Godzilla's "monster of justice" reputation. In addition to this, Quin even refers to the Energy Beast not as a shape-shifter but as "some sort of chameleon," a la Chamelegon. The only thing missing is Gigan.Quinnisms:
(when asked about the possibility of there being two Godzillas) "I think we'd have found that out by now."
Yeah... you have. There have been more than one. What planet are you from again, Quin?
Other Quotes:
"Well maybe this one just hatched or something." - Brock
#7. The Colossus of Atlantis • アトランティスの巨人
When the crew is preparing to leave Atlantis, they start whining about their boat and Kara-El tells them he can use the time machine to remedy the situation. So they go back in time and sure enough they get to their boat before it's crushed by the ghost-in-the-machine Atlantis dock. Only, where's the past versions of themselves? The crew didn't leave the ship until right after it was crushed, so what I think happened it they went back and stole the Calico from themselves, brought it to the future, and now there's just a timeline where desperate futurian Calico crewm'n hijack their own boat from the past and leave the current crew to die in the middle of the Atlantic, then book it back to the future just in time to see their Atlantean friends off as they return to their home planet, the world of Boston album covers.Quinnisms:
"But this is a strong quake!"
#8. The Horror of Forgotten Island • 忘れ去られた島の恐怖
The Energy Beast wasn't invisible, but this monster is. I actually believe I made the connection between this episode and GSS last year as well, only back then I didn't know the detail about the Titanians (or w/e) using Chamelegon to frame Godzilla, which is just special. "Godzilla destroying a city? He wouldn't!" Seriously though how perfect would that have been to go full circle like that?Quinnisms:
"It's like a footprint... OR a giant hoofprint."
Quin: Some people just don't understand scientists.
Pete: Like us?
Quin: Yes Pete, like us.
#9. The Island of Lost Ships • 遭難船の島
While I was doing some research for the GZDoom megawad I [was/am] making, I got to reading about Cretan mythology, which has its roots in Proto-Semitic tradition rather than the Proto-Indo-European of the Greeks, but influenced the Greeks and some elements of it survive in Greek mythology as we know it today. However, the original beliefs and traditions of the pre-Greek Dark Age Cretans is mostly a giant question mark as we don't understand their writing and there isn't much of it. One thing we're relatively sure of is that the character Ariadne who is best known as King Minos' daughter and the princess Theseus woo'd during his conquest of the Minotaur and the Daedalusian... or w/e... maze, actually has her roots as a native Cretan Earth goddess. Cool stuff. This... I guess this doesn't really have anything to do with Godzilla, but eh, whatever.#10. The Magnetic Terror • 超磁力の恐怖
Iiiii... don't seem to have any notes for this episode. Hmm. No quotes either. Weeeellll... that turtle monster looks goofy when it explodes. 'S that good? Cool, let's move on.#11. The Breeder Beast • ブリーダー • ビースト
Godzilla's opponent in this episode, the Breeder Beast, is basically like a living nuclear reactor, as Quin gradually discovers over the course of it. Sort of like, you know, Godzilla. I think? Comments made about the radiation emitted by the monster make the characters wary of getting to close, but they're constantly being ferried to and fro' in Godzilla's hands. So... I guess Godzilla's not radioactive anymore? Huh. Also, during this episode the concern of avoiding setting the monster off like a giant bag of dynamite resulted in Quin giving Godzilla progressively more complicated instructions, some of which ended up being wrong. I guess Godzilla learned English at some point?#12. The Sub-Zero Terror • 氷点下ゼロの恐怖
The episode reveals SHOCKING TRUFFS! It turns out the Pyramids weren't built by Ancient Astronauts at all, but rather Ancient Yetis, I guess. The plan of the evil Watchuki is to create an army of super soldiers to conquer the... other people who live in the immediate area. Oooo, spooky. They already have a giant monster, though, how much resistance are they expecting from a small town based on tourism? Fucking dumb ass yetis.Quinnisms:
"Wow! Now I know why the call the Himalayas the roof of the world!"
Yeah, it's because they're really tall, Quin.
#13. The Time Dragons • 時空ドラゴン
Quinnisms:
'It's a... diplodocus! And they weren't too choosy about what they ate!"
TV2. 1978 - Godzilla (Season 1)
1 Drink - In case any chemical, geological, meteorological, or psychical, other than physical, sign of G's action is confirmed
2 Drinks - In case any physical sign of G's action such as voice and motion is confirmed
3 Drinks - In case G appears
4 Drinks - In case G's landing on any specific coast of Japan is positive
1 Drink - Godzilla uses breathes fire like some kind of dragon or something
2 Drinks - LAZOR EYES!
1 Drink - When direct casualties of monster attacks are shown
1 Drink - Appearance or arrival onto a mysterious or monster inhabited island
1 Drink - If a fight ends with either the losers running away or the monsters falling off a cliff into the water
1 Drink - When Godzilla wins
1 Drink - Maniacal laughter
1 Drink - When a sentence ends with "...besides!"
1 Drink - Godzooky does a prat fall
1 Drink - Godzooky annoys Godzilla while he's trying to fight another monster
1 Drink - Godzooky's size changes
1 Drink - The Godzilla Signaller is used
2 Drinks - The Godzilla Signaller CAN'T be used for whatever reason, and so Godzooky calls Godzilla instead
2 Drinks - Quinnisms!
#1. Calico Clones • カリコ • チームのクローンたち
The plot of this episode revolves around the extremely elaborate scheme by mad scientist extraordinaire Dr... uh... I forgot. What he wanted: the location of a newly discovered oil well discovered by one Dr. Wayside. How he decided to get it: catch the Calico, make clones of all of its crew including Godzooky, somehow instantly age the clones to match that of their current parents, use a system of fancy future computers to program their brains and personalities so that they'll be mindless slaves but otherwise indistinguishable if told to act natural (I assume), AND clone a squid AND turn it into a giant monster in case Godzilla shows up. Eventually our heroes foil the dastardly plan and meet up with Dr. Wayside on an... offshore oil platform... so that he can reveal to the true Calico crew the super secret location of this untapped oil well which the bad guy went to absurd lengths to discover. And where is this secret oil well?...it's under the fucking offshore oil platform.
I just hope this mad scientist guy never loses his keys.
#2. Micro-Godzilla • マイクロゴジラ
I got up and made a concoction out of Dr. Pepper and vodka. I suppose you could call it a "mixed drink." This lasted me until around episode 10. However, while I attempted to pay attention to the drinking game for this episode, I didn't do a very good job of it and kinda just started playing my favroite drinking game of all time. It's called "drink." You drink. Cool game, huh? I made a lot of notes for this episode so I might as well go through them all:• Flies aren't all that smart. I don't know much about them, really, but I'd assume it's not totally unreasonable to assume a fly would "hold a grudge" if that's how you want to characterize it. Still, that's prolly all they can do. And throughout this tense drama where Quin is constantly worrying about whether there's enough time or if things will happen soon enough, this fly has no idea what's going on, and from his perspective he's just fucking flying around and shit. He could be dangerous because of his size, but he's not malicious. I mean come on. It's a damn fly.
• Quin takes a tissue or blood sample or something similar from Godzilla as he begins shrinking. Think about it. Godzilla's skin. Sample. Doesn't add up, does it?
• Godzilla starts acting "sick" once he reaches the size of a house cat or so, and Captain Majors (that name is so awesome) postulates this is because he's been out of the water for too long. Godzilla's not a frog. Does Carl think Godzilla is a frog? Because he's not. It's interesting that this same mistake was made by the scientists employed by InGen working on Jurassic Park. You'd think one of them would have read a book at some point in their lives, but... eh.
• Why are there fucking rats onboard the Calico? And how is no one extremely concerned about this? Godzilla can't fight the plague, you know.
• I wonder, if Godzilla never skipped a beat and there were regular releases in '76, '77, etc., would this story have eventually happened in a movie? I mean both the Marvel and Hanna-Barbera series used this same story line in 1979 (Marvel technically started the story arc in December of '78, but the majority of it played out in '79), so it's not an isolated incident only one writer was thinking about. We only know about the late 70's Godzilla movie scripts/proposals that come from a universe where none of them got made, but if any of them did it would change history, and the possibility of someone hitting upon the idea that a "Micro-Godzilla" movie would mean they wouldn't need to build elaborate miniature sets... I mean there's probably a universe where this has happened right? Is it the same universe where it was spelled "Berenstein Bears," maybe?
Quinnisms:
"Reverse the polarity."
Thanks Quin. Hey, in the future why don't you make this the first thing you try?
#3. Ghost Ship • 幽霊船ゴーストシップ
This had to have been pitched as "Godzilla vs. the Nazis." I simply refuse to believe otherwise. I've heard before that the nature of making a children's cartoon in the U.S. meant changes had to be made to the source material to make it "suitable" or w/e, which is a thing children's shows still have to put up with to this very day, and making sure kids didn't know what Nazis are seems like one of those things. The result is a story where there is a WWI German submarine (if it wasn't supposed to be Nazis at first, why are they German?) that is frozen and, because this is before Nazis and the Calico crew can't have a fight with people from different cultures, they of course become the best of friends. So instead the threat in the episode has to come from a different source, here a monster borrowed from the Godzilla movies that they could actually legally use, which is more or less a repeat of the monster featured two weeks ago. I am convinced this was originally "Godzilla vs. the Nazis," it just had to have been.#4. The Beast of Storm Island • 暴風島の怪獣
Axor is using his legion of mind-controlled humans to build himself and insane temple in multiple dimensions. Also he's a cobrasaurus. Axor is Vertigo's long lost brother, confirmed. No, but seriously why does he need a temple? And he's as tall as Godzilla, that structure has to be like, what, 500 meters high? It's ridiculous, insane even. And possibly in multiple dimensions. There's a strange power source (similar to the one used by the Megavolts?) at the heart of the temple, so I guess he's protecting that? Or maybe he's in Vertigo's thrall and is really building the palace in preparation for her impending arrival. Godzilla vs. Vertigo. Maybe they'll make that movie. I certainly day dreamed about it when I was 7 enough times.Other Quotes:
"Well [Godzooky will] be a real Godzilla someday." - Captain Majors
...he will?
#5. The City in the Clouds • 空中都市
I learned from the renowned pop-sci spokesperson Noel DeSoil Holyfeild that when you die you get to go up and live in the clouds and play with all your dead pets. In this episode, the crew of the Calico go up into the clouds, but there's not dead pets anywhere. So who's wrong? Has science journalism failed again or should I stop regarding Hanna-Barbera cartoons as the holy truth? Are you trying to tell me Velma was wrong and there are such things as ghosts, ghouls, and goblins? Was Red Herring really responsible for every major crime of the past 20 years?Also, there's a close call with Pete stepping into some sort of Cloud Factory (no Rainbow Dashies, though) and getting sloooowly sucked up into a... giant fan, I guess. Brock is there too and fretting the whole time, but right next to him is the control panel for the device, which has a simple switch on it, you just flick it on and off, and he just sits there and does nothing while Pete drifts slowly towards a gory death and it takes that weird cloud lady to walk over to the panel and turn the thing off. It's just a damn switch, Brock. Did Brock secretly want Pete out of the picture? Hmm...
Quinnisms:
"They name big storms after men too, Carl."
Bonus:
#6. The Cyborg Whale • ボーグ • クジラ
Mechagodzilla 1 was called a "cyborg" like all the time, it was the only thing it was ever called. I'm pretty sure that it's technically a robot, BUT the aliens make some vague references to using Godzilla as a "base" of sorts, so maybe the line is a little blurrier than it appears. Mechagodzilla 2 was also called a cyborg, again exclusively, but this time we can actually see what the biological component is, as his brain is located inside Katsura. The "Cyborg Whale" is a deep sea mining and plankton farming vehicle. It's a mecha. Not a cyborg. Did people in the 70's just not know anything about machines, or... what's going on here? Also, why do the Hawaiians speak like cavem'n?#7. Valley of the Giants • 巨大昆虫の谷
This episode kinda sucks. They really got everything worthwhile out of this plot thread with the "Micro-Godzilla" episode, but if you need to double dip episode 10 has a flying manta ray. They even use the same spider Godzilla already fought at normal size in episode 2. It just seems like pointless filler to me. Speaking of spiders, does Captain Majors know what a spiderweb is? When he discovers Godzilla webbed up he remarks that it appears to be "some sort of rope or cord." Dude, it's a spiderweb. You know, from that giant spider Godzilla was just fighting last time you saw him?#8. Moonlode • ムーンロード
My Quinnism quotes are slowing down in this season as a result of my general unobservant turn, which is the product of alcohol + working on this post since everything after episode 5 is relatively lame. I like the monster from this episode, though, he looks cool. If he ever showed up in a movie the suit would have a bunch of bicycle-reflector-thingies all over it to make those little gravity beam circle-y deals. You know what I'm talking about. Also, Gendy Tartokovsky is going on AOL to have a cyber-conference! Woo! You've got mail! Remember that? AhAHaHAHahAHaAAhaHAhaHA~#9. The Golden Guardians • 黄金の守護者
Quin learned a lesson from last time and now sees "reverse the polarity" in everything. How do you change Midas-zilla back from a gold statue? Why just reverse the polarity, of course! The monsters in this one have a weird metaphysical element to them where the dream stone not only controls the Golden Guardians with your dream, but the dreams that effect the analog world that control them are still just dreams, and so immediately after you wake up the analog world "version" of the guardians reverts back to how it was. So it's both simultaneously real and unreal, subjective becomes objective, and then back again when you wake up. It's weird and pretty cool, and definitely a pretty high concept for this kind of show... oh, no, wait. The Zilla cartoon did this with the Cackler. Also I'm pretty sure Power Rangers and Ultraman have done this probably multiple times, what with them having over a million episodes or w/e.Other Quotes:
"My dream has become real." - Old Dude
"The sleeper has awakened." - Paul Atreides/Mua'Dib
#10. The Macro-Beasts • マクロ怪獣
That Jellyfish is beyond gigantic, it would dwarf Godzilla, but you never see it in the coral corral with all the other creatures, which is goofy because it's impossible to miss. Is it still out there? Is it an intentional reference to Dogora? Man, that would be really cool. Dogora is awesome. Also when Godzilla started fighting the Macro-Manta I started thinking about Steve Irwin, and that made me sad. So, good job Macro-Manta, you're a real jerk face for making me think about Steve Irwin. That guy was a real class act, man. Fuck you, sting rays, especially the giant, flying ones. Also by this time I had to go back down and make another drink, it's the same deal only with a different soda. Still not really playing the game, though, but I kinda quit trying.Quinnisms:
"It's a wild idea... and dangerous besides! But it just might work."
#11. Pacific Peril • 太平洋の危機
This is the last episode that introduced a monster in the series, however that monster isn't an opponent for Godzilla, but rather Godzooky, and I suppose this could be interpreted as his kind of rite of passage into being a grown up monster. But then again not really since he isn't terribly effective against them and at the end Godzilla has to come and save his ass. And since the danger in this episode is provided by natural forces and monsters that Godzilla fights, there really isn't anything for him to do here, and he spends most of his time pushing against some rocks. Having Godzilla fight a handful of smaller firebreathing lizards in an obsidian cave with magma pools sounds awesome, but that's not what they did. Come to think of it, are these guys related to the Firebird at all? Or... the Megavolts? Maybe all three form a clade of elemental animals that work in a similar way that Godzilla does with radioactivity, with the Magma Lizards and Megavolts being more closely related to each other than the Firebirds, and the difference between them being based on which element they're adapted to consuming. Also is anyone else concerned that this oceanic research vessel has never heard whalesong before? And another thing I caught: in the beginning of the episode it mentions Mt. Fuji erupting, does that mean this series takes place in the same timeline as Dragonhead? Think about it...#12. Island of Doom • 破滅の島
So in this episode the bad guy is COBRA, which is really just the Red Bamboo 2, and they attack Godzilla with tanks and missiles, and then act surprised when he shrugs them off. COBRA is a bunch of fucking idiots. Another thing is that, as mentioned in an earlier episode, being around radioactivity screws up the Godzilla Signaller, and I was surprised this stayed consistent, which is pretty neat, despite the obvious design flaw in a thing that's supposed to call Godzilla which doesn't work around radioactivity, since I guess Godzilla's not radioactive or something in this cartoon. It's never directly addressed so I've got no idea what the deal is with that. My favroite moment of the episode by far is when this intruders have been detected on COBRA's secret island base and a grunt comes to inform the Baroness he decided to get right up in her ear and whisper as loud as he can to convey the news. I love creepy, loud, whispering guy. He's my second favroite human character of the series just beneath Quin and just above Zayus ("But if I had that device... he would come when I call."). Why is he whispering? Who cares, it's awesome.#13. The Deadly Asteroid • 巨大隕石の驚異
At last the two year long, 26 episode series comes to its end at the close of the 70's with a terrible episode about stupid ice aliens that is totally ridiculous and awful. In this episode we have not weirdo stasis rays, not midas lazors, but freeze guns that freeze things. That's the major impediment to the resolution of the conflict of this episode, that the bad guys can freeze things. Who are the bad guys? They are ice people made of ice (that is, they're literally frozen puddles of water) who have hearts "as cold as ice" because metaphors = literally being made of ice, led by the frigid Commander Cyros (that's not a typo I promise you) who try to take over the world by slamming a giant fuck-all asteroid into the planet, one apparently twice the size of the Moon. So, you know, I'm sure there will be plenty of the planet left to rule you stupid fucking ice people. Luckily Godzilla manages to save the day by taking "reverse the polarity" to its logical conclusion by taking the alien spacecraft and flipping it upside down which somehow sends the asteroid Frios hurtling back into space. Oh christ, I am so ready for the 80's now.Quinnisms:
"Frios? That's on our star charts."
NO IT ISN'T QUIN THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
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